There are certain obligations that come with writing about Dolly Parton’s pirate-themed dinner and show located just a cannon-blast or two away from Dollywood in Pigeon Forge.
- Dad Jokes are a must. If you don’t have pirate puns, get ready to walk the plank
- Pirate Lingo. If the words Avast, swab or matey do not appear in your story you have failed both as a writer and really, as a first-rate human.
- Sea chanteys. Don’t know any good sea chanteys? Honestly, what are you doing with your life?
- Got to talk about pirate food. You’ll be eating more than hard tack and limes to avoid the scurvy, landlubber
- Copyright Laws! Is Dolly’s show affiliated with Disney or Pirates of the Caribbean? No and No. But, whoever designed the Pirates Voyage website isn’t afraid to play a little fast and loose with copyright infringement and let you think some Jack Sparrow-esque action is in store.
So, with those out of the way, let’s get down to business shall we?
Avast ye landlubbers, Pirates Voyage Dinner & Show in Pigeon Forge opened in May of 2019 and, if ye be a fan of dinner shows, there are certainly less entertaining ones around.
That’s right, I’m looking at you lumberjacks.
The show, featuring the world’s most famous pirate – Blackbeard – and his quartermaster, Calico Jack (who I assumed was a blatant rip-off of Disney’s Jack Sparrow but is actually named after a real pirate), divides the crowd into two teams. The crews then battle on behalf of their respective sides on land, on deck, in water and high above full-sized pirates ships in an indoor hideaway lagoon.
There are appearances by mermaids, tropical birds and more. The show features music by Dolly Parton and Mark Brymer.
If you’re into such things, it’s a Jolly Roger of a good time.
While taking in the show, you get a four-course meal. There are vegetarian and gluten-free options available, but if you can order the Me Hearties Vegetarian Feast while making your reservation without just walking away from the whole thing right there, you’re a better pirate than I.
The basic Me Hearties Feast includes fried chicken, bone-in pork chop and variety of decidedly sea-faring dishes appropriate to the Smoky Mountain location and spiced up with names like Buccaneer Biscuit and Walk the Plank Peach Turnover. And unlike Dolly Parton’s Stampede, cutlery is provided.
Honestly, it’s a little easy to be cynical about a pirate-themed dinner show but if you can set that aside it can be quite a bit of fun, especially if you bring some kids along and live through their enjoyment. The animal acts are entertaining and the crews of singers, divers, dancers and aerialists are talented.
The best assessment I can give is this: You know yourself and your family. If you enjoy this kind of thing, it’s really well done and you’ll have a great time. If this isn’t your cup of tea, there are plenty of other things to do and places to eat in and around Pigeon Forge.
Or to put it another way, the only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do.
Reservations are now being taken; ticket information is available at piratesvoyage.com or by calling 865-505-AHOY (2469).
Location: 2713 Parkway, Pigeon Forge, TN 37863