Avoid These Mistakes in the Smokies

We’ve spent 30 years blundering our way around the mountains of East Tennessee, and now you can learn from our mistakes

We spend a lot of our time on this Earth being reminded that mistakes – and learning from them – are part of the human experience. In fact, the great Canadian Philosopher Alanis Morrisette once told us: 

“You live, you learn; You love, you learn; You cry, you learn; You lose, you learn; You bleed, you learn; You scream, you learn.”

And while we really only need the first line of the chorus for this discussion. But the point is you do something, and you learn. On this little blog, we’ve already done all the losing and crying and bleeding and screaming and that was just last Monday.

The list of mistakes we’ve made in the Smokies over the last three decades is extensive. It includes big things that under the wrong circumstances could have been life threatening. But it also includes small things like overpaying for a hotel stay or picking the wrong place to buy our legal moonshine. 

Here, to paraphrase Ms. Morrisette, we live, you learn. It’s a little ironic, don’t ya think. 

Mistakes to avoid in the Smokies

1. Don’t underestimate Mother Nature

The mountains are beautiful. Certainly, they’re charming. They’re welcoming and inviting. And they’re also dangerous. Not as dangerous, I suppose, as the Rockies or some of the world’s larger mountain ranges. But the Smokies can get you in trouble in a variety of ways, especially if you’re not respectful. 

And the dangers aren’t simply the wildlife, though you should be prepared just in case. It is so much easier to get lost in the mountains than most people would ever expect. You miss a turn on a trail and suddenly you find yourself in uncertain territory with the shadows growing longer and the sun dipping behind the mountains.

There are few worse feelings in the Smokies than misjudging your return time and being on the trail when it starts to get dark. Don’t go into the mountains lightly. Be prepared. Follow our commonsense safety tips. Have a map that doesn’t require cell service.

And, maybe most of all, stay in sight of your group. It is so easy to get separated and lost in the mountains. Two of the most famous missing person cases in the Smokies involve people who didn’t stray that far from their group. But while people think of the mountains and peaceful and quiet, it’s actually quite noisy – especially in the high mountains when the wind is up or If you’re near water. They don’t call it the Roaring Fork for nothing, after all. You don’t have to be very far away from the rest of your party to be completely out of shouting range. Sounds doesn’t carry in the mountains like you think it might.  

I don’t tell you this for you to be afraid. Millions of people visit the mountains each year and only a handful find themselves in any kind of trouble. But again, as someone whose been a lot deeper in the woods than he wanted to be at nightfall, a little caution can’t hurt. 

2. Don’t be naïve 

The mountain people have a well-earned reputation for being friendly. We love – after all – everyone coming down here and spending their money and we work really hard to make it worth your while. But it is important to remember that the mountain people also have a reputation for being distrustful of outsiders.

I’ll give you an example. Years ago, when I was a sports editor in Monroe County, part of my job required me to travel through some very rural mountain areas to cover games. One day, before a trip to Copperhill, my boss pulled me aside and warned me that if I had car trouble or any other reason to stop, I should stay on the road and wait for a passerby to help. Some of the homeowners along the way had a reputation for taking ‘No Trespassing’ signs very seriously. 

If you miss a turn, he told me, don’t pull in to just any random driveway and turn around. It’s a lesson, frankly, in these modern times that is applicable down outside of the mountains as well. Today, if I miss a turn in a strange part of the mountains, I will turn around in someone’s driveway – I’m obstinate that way – but I keep my head on a pretty good swivel and am ready to get out of there.

You shouldn’t be afraid to visit the mountains or even explore areas off the beaten path. The vast majority of people even in the deepest rural areas, are kind and ready to help someone in trouble. But this ain’t Mayberry. And certainly not everyone – even the seemingly nicest mountain folk – has your best interest in mind.

Just keep a little bit of your guard up, that’s all.

3. Don’t blindly follow your GPS

More than a decade ago, a driver got off the interstate in Cocke County and followed the GPS way up into the mountains, eventually to a road that forged a mountain stream. We had a similar issue one time on the road to Max Patch – the GPS didn’t accurately convey the nature of the roads it was taking us on – but we had the good fortune not to drive into the river. 

GPS systems and mapping apps and all that are great, but when you get into areas where the signal is weak, a good map downloaded onto your phone can make quite a difference.

4. Don’t overpay for a motel, but also don’t underpay for one either

There are so many hotels, motels and cabins in the Smokies it can be overwhelming to choose which one is right for you and your family. I’ve spent decades searching for the hotel sweet spot of value versus experience. There are few things more in life I enjoy more than finding an acceptable hotel at a great price. But with that gambit comes some risk. For instance, there was a time in Atlanta – before we had the kids – where we couldn’t sleep because of the scratching in the walls. That deal turned out NOT to be worth it. 

There was a time in Chattanooga that our travel softball team stayed in a place that we will refer to forever as “The Sketch.” There’s also the time we got the “Presidential Suite” at a Pigeon Forge hotel on the strip that shall go unnamed where we couldn’t use the balcony for all the “dank” smoke wafting up from below and had to avoid tripping over the broken appliances being stored in the hall.

How much should you pay for a hotel in the mountains? My goal is around $100 unless it’s a rental cabin or chalet. But that depends greatly on the time of year and – frankly the quality of experience. 

5. Don’t push it on your gas tank

There are few things more stressful in this world than being on a trip through the mountains – or stuck in traffic on the strip – and watching that gas needle dip low. Talk about learning from my mistakes – the number of times I’ve been on the front half of the Cades Cove Loop and realized the gas situation is going to be close is more than I care to admit. Trust me, as someone who has been in a car that broke down on the loop – you do NOT want to have to wait for AAA to get a wrecker out there to haul you out. 

What mistakes have you made visiting the Smokies? Let us know in the comments!