Disney Buys Ghost Town in the Sky, Unveils Plans for Massive New Theme Park

Disney set to expand their empire to the mountains of North Carolina at former Ghost Town location

The theme park competition in the Smoky Mountains is about to get very real and quite magical. On the heels of Universal officially announcing its Epic Universe park in Orlando and a kids-themed park in Texas, Disney officials are moving to announce their bold plan to establish a more centrally located American footprint. 

And they’re doing it in a spot that will have long-time visitors to the region seeing ghosts. According to sources, the park will be called Disney’s Ghost Kingdom.

The park will be located on the site of the former Ghost Town in the Sky in Maggie Valley, North Carolina. It will feature an array of currently defunct, redesigned or decommissioned Disney rides. It will launch with the slogan “Where the Magic Never Dies.” 

What we know so far

Sources within planning offices in the region indicate that Disney reps – identified partially because they offered to trade Disney pins for classified documents – are eying a large piece of land in Maggie Valley. Specifically, on the site of the former Ghost Town in the Sky. 

“Disney World is nearly the size of San Francisco,” said an official who spoke on the condition of anonymity. And a promise of a barbecue lunch. “We can’t accommodate anything nearly that size over here. I mean, we couldn’t even do a Bakersfield or Fresno. The best we could accommodate is the equivalent of a Double Buc-ee’s or a Double Buc as it’s known in the business. If we level a couple of mountaintops we could even do a quadruple Buc-ee’s. But that’s never been attempted and might defy the laws of both man and nature.”

“Disney World is nearly the size of San Francisco … The best we could accommodate is the equivalent of a Double Buc-ee’s or a Double Buc as it’s known in the business. If we level a couple of mountaintops we could even do a quadruple Buc-ee’s.”

– Anonymous C-Suite Pin-Trader at Disney

Disney officials believe there could might also be partnership opportunities for regional celebrities. In consideration is former University of Tennessee and NFL star Heath Shuler. Sources say the former Congressman and car wash impresario would be perfectly suited for a character role as mayor of Disney’s Ghost Kingdom. 

Rides and attractions within the park

“Ghost Kingdom will be like most large theme parks,” said a source who spoke on the condition of anonymity because his name is difficult to spell. “There will be a hub of the wheel – in this case a giant Grand Old Opry House. That’s where the original version of the Country Bear Jamboree will be housed. Around the hub will be four lands. In each land, there will be a recreation of the original Splash Mountain ride. As we know, the retheming of Splash Mountain to Tiana’s Bayou Adventure has created massive global demand for the original ride. We anticipate huge crowds. Therefore, like when they built an extra Dumbo in the Magic Kingdom. We will have enough supply to fill the demand.”

Well, Ghost Town originally carried a Wild West theme. Some of that will be retained. But there will be more defunct rides that will be slightly adjusted to fit the theming of the region. 

For example, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea will now be 20,000 Leagues Under the French Broad River.

Also, due to a licensing agreement with Buc-ee’s, Mr. Toad will be replaced in his Wild Ride by Buc-ee Beaver.

The Great Movie Ride, formerly of Hollywood Studios, will now feature movies either made or set in the region like “The Fugitive” or “Deliverance.” 

Maelstrom from EPCOT will no longer be Norway-themed but instead feature scenes depicting the Blizzard of ’93.  

“Maelstrom from EPCOT will no longer be Norway-themed but instead feature scenes depicting the Blizzard of ’93.”  

– John Gullion, Contributor, TheSmokies.com

While Disney hasn’t formalized the themes of all the lands, we expect that Tomorrowland will likely be replaced by Yesterdayland. Instead of offering an idealized version of what the future could be, Yesterdayland will offer an idealized version of the past. 

“Nothing bad ever happened in Yesterdayland,” the insider who lacks access to any or all of Disney’s planning and who also works chiefly in the department of cheese-like foodstuffs said. 

Another planned land will be moonshine-themed. It will offer a meet and greet based on the late Moonshine legend Popcorn Sutton. 

“You know how they have that statue of Walt and Mickey in front of the Magic Kingdom?” said the source. “In Shineland, it’s gonna be Popcorn and Walt and they’ll be imagineering a moonshine still. Also, Splash Mountain in Moonshineland will have adjusted theming that includes riding down a waterfall of shine.

When will Disney’s Ghost Kingdom open? 

For this, we went to an official Disney source – Hercules. He said for this plan to “Go the Distance,” Hades’ realm of the Underworld would have to freeze over. However, another source said Herc was trying to strong-arm us off the story. 

“Disney’s Ghost Kingdom is going to happen,” said our second source just as his suddenly massive nose knocked a picture off the wall. “I mean, would I ever tell a lie? My dad, Geppetto, said it’s impolite to lie on April Fool’s Day.”

“Disney’s Ghost Kingdom is going to happen … I mean, would I ever tell a lie? My dad, Geppetto, said it’s impolite to lie on April Fool’s Day.”

– Pinnochio

Happy April Fools Day everyone. Are you planning a trip to the Smoky Mountains soon? Make sure to check out our coupons page before your trip!

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