A Smoky Mountain resident talks about experiences he won’t revisit in Pigeon Forge, TN
I like to like things. When it comes to movies, TV shows, books, food and experiences, I go in with a pretty optimistic viewpoint. I want to enjoy them. The only real place where I am an especially discriminating consumer is music. I have enough songs that I love. But I’m a Disney guy, a Star Wars guy, and I spend a lot of my time on social media perplexed by people who seem to exist just to dislike and be angry about things they purport to love.
So as someone who has lived in and around the mountains for 30 years, I consider myself fairly easy to please. There are relatively few burned bridges. Even things that didn’t go well, I’m usually willing to give a second chance. But there are a few things with which I’m simply done. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t like them. Or that you shouldn’t try them over again if you’d like. But it does mean, I’m personally out.
1. Visit The Track only for mini golf
Overall, The Track remains one of my favorite destinations in Pigeon Forge. The various go-kart sizes and tracks are perfect for our kids, and it’s conveniently located. Also, the arcade isn’t bad. I’m not overly impressed with the bumper boats. However, if we’re taking the kids for go-karts, this is one of our first stops. But if you’re just going for the mini golf? Skip it. The mini golf courses in Pigeon Forge vary wildly in quality. Some of them exist simply as an add-on or a way to bilk a little more money out of guests who don’t want to hop in the car and drive to another attraction. To me, the lack of upkeep and investment at The Track’s mini golf course is evident. There are too many other courses – some new and some that have had better investment and upkeep – to spend your money on this one. Mini golf at The Track is located at 2575 Parkway in Pigeon Forge.
2. Go to a dinner show more than once
From my standpoint, I feel that I have “been there, done that” with the area’s dinner shows. To me, the meals aren’t good enough to justify the expense. And, while there are parts of the shows I enjoy, I wouldn’t pay to see the shows on their own either. I realize I’m on the outside with this one. The shows are incredibly popular. I’m out of step even in my own family. My wife and kids love them, even though the kids only pick at the food.
I think – due to the quality of the performances – the Pirates Voyage Dinner Show is the best option while Dolly Parton’s Stampede comes in second place. But, for the price point, I’d rather go to a better restaurant and eat and then maybe spend the rest of our time doing mini golf or some other activity.
3. Go to another single-ride attraction
I have previously written a bit about the failures of the Jurassic Jungle Boat Ride over the years. It’s expensive for the length of the ride – a slow boat cruised through jungles filled with dinosaur statues that don’t move much or at all. The effects are bad. The upkeep has failed. The dinosaurs themselves look like they need to be put down. Some think this ride is so bad that it crosses over into ironically amusing, even entertaining. The boat ride is located at 2806 Parkway in Pigeon Forge. And Earthquake the Ride, located in Gatlinburg, isn’t much better.
All in all, Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg are ever-changing. There’s something for everyone and there’s always something new to try. But if I’m spending my hard-earned money, I will avoid some of these experiences as I focus on new things and return to old favorites.
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