7 Funny Ways To Escape a Timeshare Presentation

timeshare resort with emoji over it

We hope you enjoy our tongue-in-cheek suggestions on how to get out of an unwanted timeshare presentation in the Smokies (stock photo)

Local offers cheeky tips to get out of a presentation

So you took the plunge and traded your precious time to save money on lodging during your vacation. I mean, 90 minutes listening to a timeshare presentation for three days and two nights of free hotel? That’s a deal. Or is it? Your desire to get back to your vacation is used as a ticking clock designed to make you sign on the dotted line. However, I know several people who have entered into timeshare with reputable companies that use the timeshare appropriately and enjoy it very much. I know others who entered into the agreement on a whim and have regretted it since. But what can you do to escape the clutches of a timeshare presentation that will not end? Here are a few ideas.

Timeshare presentations are designed to make you sign along the dotted line so you can get back to your vacation faster. If you need to get out of one, there are a few funny ways you could go about it. For example, ask silly questions or just start singing. Below are a few silly ways to get out of your timeshare presentation:

Editor’s note: I’m not a board-certified legal expert. I’d suggest consulting with your lawyers before implementing these strategies. Also, in fairness, I would wait 15 minutes beyond the agreed-upon time before breaking the glass on what we’re tentatively calling the Gullion plan. Give them the chance to be nice. Tell them politely but firmly you’re not interested. But if they continue to press, unleash the Kraken.

1. Three stooges-style misdirection

This, dear readers, is a misdirection technique as old as time – or at least The Three Stooges. As the presentation drones on, briskly stand up, point to a window and yell “Look at the grouse.” When all the heads turn, get your things and get out of there.

2. Ask strange questions

What’s the timeshare’s policy on public nudity? What is the rule regarding pet ducks in the pool? Is the timeshare barbershop quartet-friendly? Will sheep shearing in the commons area be strictly forbidden or simply frowned upon?

3. Spill something

This is otherwise known as the Chappelle Method: You’ve been polite. You’ve told them no. They continue to press. All the gloves are off. Simply reach over to the nearest pitcher of complimentary beverage and “accidentally” turn it over. As soon as the liquid hits the floor, yell “scatter,” and it’s every man for himself.

4. Lawyer up

Tell them you are keen on the idea but will not sign anything until your legal team has seen the paperwork which you’d be happy to take to their office right now. If they ask the name of the firm, it’s Dewey, Cheatem and Howe.

5. Bartering

Appear very positive about the idea. Ask repeatedly that if, instead of cash, they’d be willing to barter. Ask how much a particular unit would be in cordwood. When they say they can’t trade for wood, offer to sweeten the pot with sacks of hazelnuts and up to six good breeding hens and a rooster that you guarantee is especially randy. Promise they can make their money back in eggs in eight months to a year.

6. Hint at your jailbird status

Ask if the contract can include a stipulation that if the Feds can ever make anything stick and you have to go away for a while, the contract can be voided since you’ll be unable to visit. Assure the representative it’s not a big deal because the charges are “bull” anyway.

7. Sing

Repeatedly try to get the other people in the presentation to begin a rousing rendition of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” in the round. “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” will also work.

Have you recently experienced a timeshare presentation you regret? If so, let us know how you got out of it in the comments! And if you’re planning a trip to the Smokies, be sure to check out our coupons page.

Have a question or comment about something in this article? Contact our staff here. You may also contact our editorial team at info@thesmokies.com.

instagram
tiktok
youtube
flipboard

Disclosure: We have used and experienced all the products and activities recommended on The Smokies. We may receive compensation when you click on links to some products and experiences featured.

1 thought on “7 Funny Ways To Escape a Timeshare Presentation”

  1. My 2 year old left a huge run of the running craps all over the place and they had it cleaned up in two minutes. The presentation didn’t even pause. They are prepared.

    Reply

Leave a Comment