A fellow failed rapper breaks down what is probably the worst rap song ever recorded
The year was 1993. The mighty Mountaineers of Heritage High School were planning on heading to Roane State Community College for an annual academic competition. In order to give the school its best chance to compete, our beloved English teacher Mrs. Bradshaw was looking for competitors to fill a number of empty categories and pick up a few more points to the title.
I was academically successful and highly competitive. But somehow, I’d never even explored what it took to compete. So as Mrs. Bradshaw listed the available categories in which she needed competitors, one stood out. An opportunity for me to use my unique set of skills arose. Like Randy Quaid in “Independence Day,” I seized the opportunity, willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good. “I’m a rapper,” I might have said. “I can rap.”
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That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I had a chance to help my academic institution by spitting bars – or as they called it back in the day, dropping science. Now truthfully, I was not a rapper, I was a rap fan. The only rapping I’d ever done was along with my favorite artists like Public Enemy, A Tribe Called Quest and other New York rappers whose music made its way to my East Tennessee ears via “Yo! MTV Raps!”
Nevertheless, I was undaunted and came up with an idea on the spot. My buddy Daryl did an excellent impression of Dana Carvey’s impression of former President George H.W. Bush. The idea for the George Bush Rap was born. Using the cassingle from THE U.M.C’s jaunty Hip-Hop track “Bluu Cheese” – which had a version without lyrics on the flip side – I wrote a rap in which I rapped about important political things of the day and alternated with Daryl as Bush. It was bad and not in a good way. I struggled with trying to squeeze too many syllables into stanzas not built to support them. But Daryl did well, and it was well received at the school.
On the fateful day, we arrived at Roane State and we were the first group to perform. It went … poorly. There were no microphones and no sound system. Just a tape player and my earnest-self trying to enunciate to a beat that I realized in the moment was about three times faster than what I should have chosen. Could the judges even hear us? It’s hard to say. Part of me hopes not.
And then things got worse. I have a bad habit – a lifelong condition really – of not focusing on things like rules or instructions. I tend to dive in and find myself floundering before I even consider looking around for help. After we wiped our brows of the flop sweat, the second group came up to perform. The music started and sounded familiar – it was not the UMC’s but it was a popular beat. “Maybe they have a cassingle, too,” I thought. They did. It was a Naughty by Nature track but they didn’t write original lyrics. They were just doing the song. And they were really good.
It was that moment I realized that I did not HAVE to perform an original song. I could have just done one of my many favorites and things likely would have gone much better. Still, we finished second – there were no other entrants – and earned points for the school.
The ‘official’ Tennessee bicentennial rap song
I knew that there’d been an “official” bicentennial rap back in 1996 marking the state’s first 200 years. But I’d never heard it. I found it on Reddit and then on YouTube, hit play and was hit by a tidal wave of memories. Reader, all I can say is thank God no one was videoing that day in Harriman.
Wait, so, Tennessee has an official state rap song? Yep, it was penned and performed by an energetic 67-year-old woman from Signal Mountain. Joan Hill Hanks was active in civic groups throughout her life and was blessed with something of patriotic fervor. A member of the Daughters of the American Revolution, she and her friends liked to write patriotic poetry. She said later that her poems always had a certain rhythm and that maybe she’d been rapping before she knew what rap was.
The poem was written in 1996 for the bicentennial celebration
To celebrate the bicentennial in 1996, she wrote the poem and then performed it over a jaunty rap beat that was very 1986. What she lacks in timing in rhythm, she tries very hard to make up for with enthusiasm. The theme is a history of the state’s 200 years – a little like Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” but with a lot less musicality. She performed the song across the state with the idea of learning history and having fun at the same time. When she passed away in 2023 at the age of 93, the song was in the first line of her obituary.
Is the song good?
No. It’s probably the worst song I’ve ever heard. Now, I want to be careful here. Mrs. Hanks sounds like a neat lady who was enthusiastic about and proud of her song and its recognition by the state. But as someone who fell into nearly an identical trap three years earlier, I feel at least somewhat comfortable in saying the rhyme scheme is all over the place and she never really finds the songs pocket. There are many instances where the stanza has too many syllables – to which I can relate – and there are several times the rhyming doesn’t work. Kefauver and honor? Fields and … Fields? 1812 and dwell?
The whole thing is just what the kids today would call cringe. And that’s OK, I suppose. Grandparents are supposed to be kinda cringe. And, as someone who had his own too-earnest attempt at penning a rap song, I feel a certain appreciation for the effort even if the idea and execution were fatally flawed.
Anyway, is the song good or bad? You can listen for yourself.
Is the song offensive?
To the idea of good taste? Yes. Otherwise, no not really. In an ideal world, should a 67-year-old from Signal Mountain write a rap song with lyrics about Andrew Jackson, Cotton and Nathan Bedford Forrest? Probably not. But she doesn’t seem to be making fun of the genre, and she seems incredibly earnest in including the state’s history. Also, she does recognize the western part of the state and the Memphis Blues – which the state legislature has yet to do in terms of an official song.
Are there any other official Tennessee rap songs?
Not that I can tell. The issue is a little more complicated than you might think. The majority of Tennessee’s many, many, many state songs are Bluegrass, country or waltz inspired. There’s little to no representation for the state’s history of blues, soul or rap music. That this is the ONE rap song Tennessee has chosen to elevate as an official state song is kind of a bummer but that’s also not Mrs. Hanks fault.
Did you know about the official Tennessee rap song? Let us know in the comments! Are you planning a trip to the Smoky Mountains soon? Make sure to check out our coupons page before your trip!