The Biggest Mistakes I Have Made Visiting Gatlinburg

Aerial View of Gatlinburg, Tennessee in the Morning

Aerial View of Gatlinburg, Tennessee in the Morning (photo by Jacob Boomsma/iStockphoto.com)

A local shares his biggest missteps in hope you can learn from his mistakes

One of the benefits of being a local to the mountains is it gives you a certain freedom to make a mistake. When I’m vacationing someplace like the beach or Disney, mistakes get magnified because my days are limited. If you get a week a year at the beach, a bad day means you’ve messed up a significant portion of your vacation. When you’re a local, if you mess something up, make a mistake, you can rectify it any time you want. Have a bad experience one weekend? You chalk it up to living and learning and make plans for the next weekend. 

And so, over my 30+ years in the mountains, I’ve made a mistake or two or a couple hundred. Some of those are bigger than others. Some of them are NOT relevant to this particular blog but some are ones that you can hopefully learn from and avoid the pain that I’ve experienced, sometimes quite literally.

The biggest mistakes I’ve made visiting Gatlinburg

There are a plethora of shops in downtown Gatlinburg (photo by James Overholt/TheSmokies.com)

1. Purchased stupid souvenirs

This may be a genetic trait. Recently, we went to visit my daughter in Orlando and my son found an Indiana Jones-style bullwhip with which he became obsessed and spent most of the week asking for.

For me, it harkened back to a school trip to Paris I had three decades ago when a street vendor was selling a real leather bullwhip which the teenage version of myself was determined to buy. I was thwarted by my English teacher/chaperone, the great Teri Bradshaw, who said “Gullion, what are you going to do with a bullwhip?”

So, when JP asked for his own bullwhip last week, I told him that story. He thought for a second and then made whtch sound. But he didn’t get the whip.

Unfortunately, there have been many trips to Gatlinburg when I was not accompanied by my English teacher ready with sage advice. A Rambo knife. Ninja Throwing Stars. A dragon made from razor blades. Any number of unfortunate-in-retrospect T-shirts.

When considering a souvenir item, I would encourage you to consider the immortal words of Teri Bradshaw. “What are you going to do with THAT?” And put it back on the shelf.

Woman with comfy shoes
On Cloud sneakers (photo by Morgan Overholt/TheSmokies.com)

2. Wore bad footwear

I’ve had lingering ankle problems since my teenage years, the result of a habit of walking on the outside edges of my feet and a number of injuries incurred playing basketball and football in my teens and early 20s. A good wide New Balance is usually the answer to preventing disaster. But even now – on uneven walkways – I have to be careful not take a misstep.

We were outlet shopping a couple of years ago and I ran into an insane deal on a pair of Nikes. Loved the shoes but they were unavailable in a wide version. I did what I’ve often done in that situation and moved up a couple of sizes to account for my wide step.

I put my new shoes on and went walking – as one does – in Gatlinburg. We were near Anakeesta when the sidewalk turned uneven. I wasn’t paying attention, took a step and the left ankle gave way, sending that familiar lightning bolt of pain through the joint and sending me crashing to the ground in front of hundreds if not thousands of tourists. It wasn’t the worst fall I’ve had but it was embarrassing and painful. 

PS: I wore those same shoes on a visit to SeaWorld recently and went down again. Going to have to chuck them.

Ankle afflictions aren’t the only reason to wear proper footwear in the mountains. Too many people want to walk Gatlinburg – or worse hike the mountains – in sandals, crocs, flip-flops or other lesser footwear. Don’t do it. Wear the right gear for the day and your feet, legs and possibly your dignity will thank you.

guests sitting on the dollywood tram in the rain
Heavy rain can arrive unexpectedly in the Smoky Mountains. Pictured: Dollywood guests ride the parking tram in the middle of a downpour (photo by Daniel Munson/TheSmokies.com)

3. Didn’t look at the weather report

The saying is that if you don’t like the weather in East Tennessee, wait a few minutes and it will change. Is it any different than other places? I haven’t done a lot of number crunching, but it seems so. The problem is I have a bad habit of looking at the 10-day forecast. But I forget to check back in for any updates. The number of times I’ve been surprised by an afternoon rain shower in the mountains is … well … surprising.

A lot of the time that mistake is relatively minor. But when you’ve planned a day for a long hike, it can really put you in a difficult position. And when driving Highway 441 from Gatlinburg to Cherokee you need to take extra care. High winds and severe weather can shut the road down and you’ll find yourself having to take the long way home.

Public parking sign in Gatlinburg
There are several paid lots and a few garages in downtown Gatlinburg (photo by Morgan Overholt/TheSmokies.com)

4. Passed up a decent parking spot in search of a better one

I am a competitive parker. Therefore, I want the best spot so I can proudly proclaim myself “The best parker alive” when we exit the car. I remember great parking spots in key moments over the years including the time I got the best spot in front of Kohl’s on Black Friday.

And so, in Gatlinburg there have been times when I’ve deemed a perfectly acceptable parking spot not good enough. Then I drive farther along and get myself trapped in traffic. If you can get a spot in one of the garages, take it with glee. Otherwise, you may spend too much of your vacation searching for the great white whale of parking.

Ole Smoky in Gatlinburg
Ole Smoky Moonshine is one of the most popular distilleries in downtown Gatlinburg with multiple locations (photo by Marie Graichen/TheSmokies.com)

5. Sampled too much moonshine

For a big guy, I’m a relative light weight when it comes to likker. I don’t drink often but when I do, it hits me quickly. It also wears off fairly quickly but I know who I am and that is a man who was nearly floored by an Olive Garden Italian Margarita once, so I have to be careful. A tasting flight or two at one of the many Gatlinburg distilleries can be fun. However, when you commit to a distillery crawl, discretion is the better part of valor. The last thing anyone wants is to be wobbly on the uneven Gatlinburg sidewalks. It’s a recipe for ankle disaster.

Do you agree with our list? Let us know in the comments!

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