5 Things Not To Eat at Buc-ee’s, According to a Beaver Fanatic

bucees store with pickled brussels sprouts in front

Pickled snacks may not be the best choice for a road trip food (photos by Daniel Munson and John Gullion/TheSmokies.com)

A Buc-ee’s fan offers advice on what not to eat at the popular travel stop

Even in paradise, a little rain must fall. Buc-ee’s, aka the most magical place on the interstate, is a jewel for road trippers, commuters and travelers everywhere. Europeans make the trip over the pond just to marvel at the wonder of a gas station with more than a hundred pumps, exceptionally clean bathrooms and a selection of food and snacks that put other road trip staples to shame.

Buc-ee’s shines with its famous barbecue and brisket which are legitimately good. Not just gas station good, but actually really very good. The famous Buc-ee’s Beaver Nuggets are a sugary delight. Plus, I think there are literally dozens of fantastic options that make Buc-ee’s a road trip culinary curiosity.

But not everything can be a home run. As the self-proclaimed expert on Buc-ee’s East of the Mississippi, I am here to tell you that not everything the Beaver touches turns out golden. Some foods overwhelm and not in a good way. And some should be avoided on a road trip. But that’s why I’m here. I’ve done the dangerous work, so you don’t have to. Here are a few food items I think you might want to avoid at Buc-ee’s:

quail eggs at buc-ee's
While I am pro pickling, I prefer not to quail pickle on road trips (photo by Alaina O’Neal/TheSmokies.com)

1. Pickled quail eggs

I want to be very, very clear at the start. The Gullion household is pro-pickling. I grew up sneaking unfinished pickle slices from the homemade batches my grandma made and kept in special crocks on the kitchen counter. Also, I took my family to the Pickle Museum in Mt. Olive North Carolina. Though, in fairness, it’s not so much a museum as it is a small retail store devoted to everything pickle. Also, I like exotic pickled products from mushrooms to okra to pretty much any vegetable you can get in a jar of pickling spices. I even acknowledge the long tradition of pickled eggs that generations of papaws have consumed from gas station deli counters all over the world.

But my deep and vast knowledge of all things pickle brings me to this conclusion: Consuming pickled quail eggs on a road trip is a crime. If you want to pick up a jar to eat in the privacy of your own home, away from impressionable children and, really, the rest of humanity, I’ll look the other way. But do not fork out pickled quail eggs, one by one, and consume them on a road trip with other people’s olfactory nerves in the general vicinity.

ghost pepper beef jerky at bucees
Road trips may not be the best place to experience Buc-ee’s ghost pepper beef jerky (photo by Morgan Overholt/TheSmokies.com)

2. Ghost pepper beef jerky 

I am not against food with heat on a general principle. However, my system long ago told me in no uncertain terms to lay off the hot stuff. I can’t imagine being on a road trip and deciding that ghost pepper is the right call. In addition to burning on the way in, you’re setting yourself up for some real danger later. You don’t want to find yourself a few hours down the road, dealing with whatever gas station bathroom you can find in an emergency. You’ll be there – shirt off for temperature control – fighting for your life on some sketchy porcelain throne in a podunk town in South Georgia and cursing the hubris of ordering ghost pepper and ruing the day you didn’t head these words.

Also, even if your constitution is such that you don’t pay such a heavy price on the back end, the peppered jerky isn’t very good. It’s all gas, no breaks so to speak. You get all of the heat and none of the flavor, and that’s just no way to go through life.

sausage on a stick in front of bucees
Buc-ee’s famous sausage on a stick is a favorite for some folks, but I would leave the stick out (photo by Morgan Overholt/TheSmokies.com)

3. Sausage on a stick

On paper, the sausage on a stick wrapped in a tortilla should be good. Considering how dry these things are, it might be better on paper instead of the tortilla. I am pro foods on a stick and am certainly pro sausage. But in this rare instance, it would be better if we got the stick out of there and threw a few toppings into the tortilla. I’d rather have a sausage in a tortilla with some onions and peppers and then we’ve got something. Even though that may be too messy for the road, it can’t be much worse than the burritos and barbecue from a mess standpoint.

The problem? It needs something to bring a little moisture. Also, the sticks are too thick. It’s like trying to pull some sausage off a log with your teeth. The ratio is wrong. You know that feeling when you bite too hard into something you shouldn’t, and it sends shivers reverberating down your spine? That’s not something you want to deal with on the interstate. This one should go back to the Buc-ee’s drawing board.

4. Dried veggies

I know the whole point of dried veggies is that they’re dried, and I understand if you want to eat healthy, Buc-ee’s doesn’t have a lot to choose from. But these are bland. They’re one step above getting a mouthful of hay. There are some moist fruits and veggies available near the sandwiches. If you want to eat healthy, that’s a better way.

Kolache at Buc-ee's Sevierville TN
The kolache is a good idea on paper but maybe not at Buc-ee’s (photo by Leslie Gullion/TheSmokies.com)

5. Boudin kolache

This is another idea that should work on paper. I’m a Cajun-adjacent guy. I have some Cajun cousins and have been blessed to be introduced to good Cajun food. As such, I’m no stranger to Boudin. In fact, I’m a big fan. So, I was excited to try a Boudin stuffed kolache. What’s a kolache you ask? It’s a Slavik pastry that gets stuffed with things. How did Buc-ee’s, a Texas gas station chain, start serving this Eastern European delight? Well, evidently Czech immigrants brought them to Texas starting in the 1820s and Buc-ee’s is now bringing them to the rest of the South.

On paper, this should work. But again, it’s a very dry experience. For starters, the dough-to-sausage ratio is off. Then, the Boudin, which is stuffed with rice, is also very dry. It needs a little cheese or egg or some kind of sauce, whether it’s Cajun mustard or something with a little spice. As it is, there are better kolaches to choose from, like the jalapeno cheese or strawberry cream cheese.

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